Science and Chuck Norris

· When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
· Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
· Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
· Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
· In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
· Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
· Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its descendents now have white hair.
· There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
· The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.
· Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
· Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
· Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
· Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What was That?"
· Scotty in Star Trek often says “Ye cannae change the laws of physics.” This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
· If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
· Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.
· Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
· According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
· Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
· Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
· Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
· The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
· The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
· There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris.... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
· We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
· Chuck Norris is so bad he makes viruses sick. As such, Chuck Norris is also responsible for the eradication of smallpox.
· Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.